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My Window

by Fraktured Reflektion

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1.
Circles 05:32
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Someone lost in a loop Marking tracks in tow Following footsteps Shadows left by ghosts Who left behind their hope With memories and youth Falling in love With who (Who we used to be) The ticking of a clock threatening to stop Moments frozen in time Trapped behind glazed eyes but their faces are fading Photograph of a face that holds a strangers gaze with familiar features Falling in love With who (Who we used to be) The ticking of a clock Threatening to stop One more year Brand new friends One more year Brand new trends One more year Brand new home One more year Off alone One more year Brand new friends One more year Brand new trends One more year Getting old One more year Getting old Everyone grows up Everyone gets old Everyone must stop But I'm not dead Yet.
2.
Renegade 04:19
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Renegade recall there's nothing you can do This positions compromised Infested with these fucking liars. The hull can’t stand another Hit from these bastards Abandon ship or die in it Captain Can you hear me Captain Can you hear me This is Renegade I’m not coming back I’ve taken shrapnel to the chest And I’m bleeding out There's one more round left in my gun so lets see how they fight when the sky starts to burn Tell my son That I’m sorry And I hope this Makes things right Tell my daughter That I love her If I can’t be a farther I’ll be a better memory I will die a solider I hope they all remember me. One more time Into the Fray Live and die on this day One more time in to the Fray Live and die on this day
3.
Heartless 07:49
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Staring at the ceiling the arguments over and so are you Veins soaking in wine My hands are shaking Please… just move Do you really want to make this real Do you really want to make this happen You always think that I’m wrong So tell me I am I’d clean the wine off the floor Off your clothes Off your head But the wines not red What if she’s just unconscious What if she’s about to wake up But you pushed And she fell And that's a lot of blood I need another excuse to believe in Because if I stop pretending What does that mean I’ve done? I’m a murderer Their coming after me If I want to fix this I Have to make things worse I Have to cover up the scene The only way out of this hole Is to dig another A shallow grave to hide my faults While empty bottles hide my thoughts The more I clean this house The dirtier I get What if they don’t believe me What if they find where she is But they don’t And you get Away with everything The months go by and I Can’t stop repeating Those three words inside my head Constantly screaming Again, And again I’m a murderer I’m tearing at the seams My friends and my family they All have no idea What happened to that girl last year Tell the truth I can’t back out of this now Tell the truth If they find out then they will tare me down Tell the truth There's nothing left inside so leave me alone I still remember that night The rain transcended to a storm as I continued to dig Each swing slowly showing from to her grave While knowingly deepening my own Her now vacant eyes burning Into the back of my skull Filling me with an intense sense of emptiness A feeling I now know will persist until the day I join her No-one can ever know Every second I can see her A piercing so perverse Every moment I can hear her Screaming those words Following me She is stalking me (Mad rambling) Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone
4.
Stained Glass 02:16
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Broken wheels Inside my head Oh how they scream From their attempts at turning Grinding Away the choice Smiling The future brings me joy Picture me A perfect scene Personal fantasy Screaming At the sound Silence Broken wheels Behind my head Painting the back wall Covering the window Shining Down on me Bleeding
5.
ROT 05:03
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I collapse Silently screaming for help That my panic attacks have become Laced in mundanity Disgusted to find That people consider Perpetual crisis the norm I descend My hands are shaking uncontrollably Tearing and slicing my flesh Just to catch the attention Of those who ignore Every other attempt Yet view this with contempt It scares me I don’t want to die Alone To die At all As I break down from my wasted potential I Overdose to escape the decay Slowly killing myself with poison Until my insides feel the same Dedication to nothing But my own destruction Screaming until I have no voice Soon if I decide I want to live in the future I’ll no longer have that choice It’s crushed me I don’t want to live In this world To live Any more I am sick Of asking for help And being offered drugs instead of solutions And I’m sick of everyone I know taking Antidepressants Because all of their friends are depressed I am tired of waiting to die in a world That doesn't care if I live While being told to be guilty and grateful For everything I have Fuck… Let it rot Let it rot Decrepit kin of regressions lens Bound by location Bound by conception Bound by a legacy of inevitable Genocide From a world in flames
6.
Frenzy 05:35
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Just stop And take a fucking moment to explain How a society built to imbue anxiety Is in any way OK The pressures mounting up The walls begin to crack But if I’m not breaking first then something else is Is something wrong Inside My head? Am I fucking delusional Am I insane? Because it’s either the world or it’s me And I’m not on my knees So point your fingers while you medicate But don’t you dare call my discontent a disease Intoxicate and disassociate From the stench of decay we breathe Caution We’re about to lose dominion of our fate Stop quoting isolated facts and numbers De-contextualized and fake It’s not about who’s right Just admit that something wrong Because none of us can Reconstruct this world alone Is something wrong Inside My head? Am I fucking delusional Am I insane? Because it’s either the world or it’s me And I’m not on my knees Our hands held high For genocide Breathe in Breathe Out Relax Slow down I don’t want to feel this I don’t want to feel X4 I don’t want to feel our future is a loss Struggling to find the lines we’ve yet to cross I don’t want to play the pessimist again Convinced the end is nigh and terrified of when I don’t want to feel my days slip into waste Walking past my youth and straight towards the grave I don’t want to fight the world that I live in But I refuse to let it win Filled with hate Falling astray We decay A world insane So point your fingers while you medicate But don’t you dare call my discontent a disease Intoxicate and disassociate From the stench of decay that... Stop us before we all Burn
7.
Alexithymia 02:54
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8.
Far For Now 04:20
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The stars above they hold my dreams But non compare to the angel in my screen She’s picture perfect despite the pixels on every broken signal I will hold her close They say Distance makes the heart grow fonder So until I’m closer I will grow Oh my mystery girl across the sea I Part the airwaves so you can hear me speak You know there’s no other like me well I’ll reach across this whole Damn ocean just to feel you breathing while you sleep And I’ll leave my home and make a new one As long as it’s with you You cast your line across the sea I pulled your heartstrings when you found me We pulled together and fell in deep Swam in sync our breath held underneath They say Distance makes the heart grow finder And until I’m closer I will grow
9.
END 07:56
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We won’t fall We won’t die X2 One more step we come to a standstill We come to a halt I hold my breathe eyes locked on target and wait for the call Seconds feel like days I draw my gun Target is neutralized I reload Ready aim fire and kill I advance Switch to my side arm and empty my clip as I scream fire the battery no retreat and give no quarter Hold the line and push them back I drop my gun and fall to my knees filled with broken steel from the explosion Shards cut straight through my face Iron is all I can taste Everything starts to seem far away I can't remember where I am I just need some rest I just need to get some sleep A blast knocks me back from my mind My heart beating out through my chest as I rip out the metal encased in my thigh I lash out as i slice and I cut and I gut the men standing over me I climb to my feet as the blood paints me red I run forward and scream I WON'T DIE x4 I stand tall Command the tides of war My enemies will fall Marching forth Against opposing force and I will kill them all X2

credits

released July 16, 2021

Xarya Kaje

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Fraktured Reflektion England, UK

I make noise.

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